Love x Hate
by noirnekochan
Summary: After the incident with Gilbert and his Tectonic Knights trying to take over Anya's Russia, Anya has forever lived in confusion over her love or for him for making her go insane. One day however, she may just realise what feeling is the right one. Prussia x fem!Russia. Rated M for a reason as lemons will be present in later chapters.


**I've been on a bit of a hiatus, gomenasai. As an apology for not being on, I decided to write a Prussia x fem!Russia fanfict which will be about a few chapters / **

**I will continue L x Misa shortly after I've gotten more organised in the future. Enjoy! I will include a lemon in the next chapter because I am forever a pervert. **

* * *

You know, I tried to ignore thoughts of him. The memories of him with his tectonic knights attempting to take over me; that one experience where I cracked and have forever had to dealt with others being afraid of me and not being able to understand who I am deep down. I just wanted everyone to become one with me, but for so many years, in this school, I have been feared; feared for the vast land that is mine that is so vast that only a small amount is inhabited. It was all thanks to him. All thanks to Gilbert; that stupid Gilbert Beilschmidt. The thought of his stupid china white skin, his memorising red pupils and his stupid smirk that has made me run into the girls bathrooms. I hate him, but I love him. Love him, but hate him at the same time. I felt a tear roll down my eyes as I hugged my knees inside one of the various cubicles, pondering over how some like me, Anya Braginskaya, who's reputation was mislead thanks to him, could love him so much. I started to break down into tears.

"Anya, are you alright?" I heard a female voice say as they entered the bathroom, "I saw you running in here after my stupid brother made one of his rapist jokes about 'invading your vital regions' to you." It was Louise, Gilbert's more mannered and sensible younger sister. I often wondered how she dealt with his shit on a daily basis; it was rumoured that she just ignored it as she had to enough on her plate with dealing with Daisy pestering her.

"Anya?" she called out again. I made a loud gulp hoping that I wouldn't be caught. She kicked on the door hard. Shit. She found me. I tried to choke back my tears, but I couldn't. I just couldn't. It was so hard to hide my true pain for once.

"Louise," I choked under the tears. It was then I felt the door break off it's hinges, shocking me a bit, but knowing the strength she demonstrated, it was going to happen sooner or later.

"What happened?" she asked sympathetically, she was such a good friend, "Do I need to go and scold my brother, because I will. I will do it without hesitation. He's such an ass at times. No wonder a lot of people don't want to put up with his bullshit." I started to cry harder, hitting my head softly against the wall of the cubicle. I didn't want her, no matter her friendship with I, or anyone to see me this weak. I'm the strong, scary Anya; not some pathetic weak girl who is in love with someone she should hate for ruining her life's reputation.

Louise then wrapped her arms around me, pulling me close. "I have a free lesson next period, so how about I go and make an excuse that you're not feeling all so great, and we'll relax on the roof like old times," she whispered, stroking my hair. She was a wonderful person. I often wondered how people could be fearful of her too.

. . .

There was not a cloud in sight. It was such a beautiful day to just be lying on the ground, listening to the soft breeze passing through as I killed some time with Louise. I always longed for these days at home, but the harsh Russian winter made it seem like a distant dream. I for one day wish that someday, everyone would get along and we could all kill time on a day like this, sunflowers dancing in the breeze.

"Hey Anya," I heard Louise ask next to me, waking me from my dream. I turned my head to look at her, giving her my full attention. She looked serious.

"Da?"

"Do you love my brother?" Just hearing her ask that made me go red. I couldn't tell her the truth as she would just laugh at me or scold at me for making a stupid choice.

"Louise, w-why are you asking me such an unexpected question about Gilbert?" I nervously replied.

"Because I constantly witness you staring at him with a lovey-dovey face," she smiled teasingly, "and also because no one can be distraught over his stupidity. Most people in the school just laugh it off or just tell him off straight away. You just run from him."

I nodded my head in response, looking up at the sky wondering how she could have noticed.

"You know," she sighed, closing her eyes, as though she was deep in thought, "you need to just confront and tell him how you feel about him. He may be an idiot which he is, but I can tell you now that deep down he cares about others."

Just hearing her say that made me wonder whether I should perhaps just confront him about it, but the problem was whether I would be calm or not? I mean, Gilbert was the type to make anyone agitated; the verbal abuse he shared towards Roderich on a daily basis was enough to make anyone lose their cool, in which case making Roderich get furious to the point he would not stop practicing his piano till he was contempt. I continued to look up at the bright blue sky in silence, hoping once again that this moment would never end.

. . .

Fuck.

I was running late to class; Louise must have been considerate and not woken up when the bell rang. The clicking of my loafers echoed through the silent hall as my skirt and coat flowed behind me as I jolted into a sprint.

Running was not a motif of mine, unlike big sister Iryna; the bouncing of her large breasts however are now an indicator in the school of when she's going to make her presence to someone. Moving on, as I ran down the empty hallway, without a clue I felt a handgrip hard onto my wrist flinging me violently against a wall.

Bang!

"O-ow, kolkolkol," I cursed. This was not the time for me to ruin my reputation more in this environment, but I'm not going to let any one think they can overpower me. As I placed a hand on my sore temple, I looked up. Much to my surprise, I saw two red eyes on a demonic pale skinned figure staring evilly back at me like I was about to come to my death. I tried to escape the figure, but he slammed his hand against the wall, cornering me.

"So miss Anya, it seems you're trembling before ze awesome me," he said triumphantly. Looking up, my heart started to race. Gilbert was towering over me.


End file.
